Comments for justbeingjess http://justbeingjess.org A journey to a full, happy, and healthy life. Wed, 16 May 2012 20:45:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 Comment on The Process by alyssa http://justbeingjess.org/the-process/#comment-588 alyssa Wed, 16 May 2012 20:45:57 +0000 http://justbeingjess.org/?p=812#comment-588 @<a href="#comment-554" rel="nofollow">rachel</a>: I also disagree with what you said, in the most loving way possible. It is possible to fully recover. I know this because I have! Hang in there. xx @rachel: I also disagree with what you said, in the most loving way possible. It is possible to fully recover. I know this because I have! Hang in there. xx

]]> Comment on The Process by Lisa http://justbeingjess.org/the-process/#comment-560 Lisa Mon, 14 May 2012 14:53:27 +0000 http://justbeingjess.org/?p=812#comment-560 I'm with you & Cara...I believe that eating disorders are similar to cancer in that the eating disorder can go into "remission" but may return as you said (difficult transition, death of a loved one, etc). Another way I think about it is like alcoholism. An alcoholic has different brain chemistry than a non-alcoholic so the alcoholic has the brain disease of alcoholism, but can live a sober life by learning new ways to cope and the thoughts & urges to use alcoholic behaviors can become less & less. I also believe that one can live a joyful life free of eating disorder behaviors & less thoughts from the eating disorder, but one is always in recovery. It's a life long process that can be managed over time. I agree, the motivation piece of recovery is difficult. I spent a month in residential treatment recently & felt super motivated when I left. As time passed it became harder to keep. I'm struggling to "want" recovery bc it's hard as shit. But I really DO want it & that's why I keep trying no matter how many setbacks I have. I keep telling myself that I dont want my time spent away from family & friends to be for nothing, only to go right back to how things were before I left. Recently my therapist had me make a list of my priorities-what they are, in order, even though my behaviors didn't reflect them. Then I set little goals to change my behaviors to align more with the priorities. When I start thinking of restricting or over exercising, I'm supposed to look at my priorities list. Sometimes that helps me stop my eating disorder behavior, with the help of a positive coping skill & sometimes I still use an eating disorder behavior. But the point is, I'm learning to delay or stop myself from the negative behavior more than I was before. And it reminds me why I want to recover & helps boost my motivation. Sorry for the long response but I admire your honesty & encourage you to keep moving forward. You CAN go farther in your recovery! I’m with you & Cara…I believe that eating disorders are similar to cancer in that the eating disorder can go into “remission” but may return as you said (difficult transition, death of a loved one, etc). Another way I think about it is like alcoholism. An alcoholic has different brain chemistry than a non-alcoholic so the alcoholic has the brain disease of alcoholism, but can live a sober life by learning new ways to cope and the thoughts & urges to use alcoholic behaviors can become less & less. I also believe that one can live a joyful life free of eating disorder behaviors & less thoughts from the eating disorder, but one is always in recovery. It’s a life long process that can be managed over time.

I agree, the motivation piece of recovery is difficult. I spent a month in residential treatment recently & felt super motivated when I left. As time passed it became harder to keep. I’m struggling to “want” recovery bc it’s hard as shit. But I really DO want it & that’s why I keep trying no matter how many setbacks I have. I keep telling myself that I dont want my time spent away from family & friends to be for nothing, only to go right back to how things were before I left.

Recently my therapist had me make a list of my priorities-what they are, in order, even though my behaviors didn’t reflect them. Then I set little goals to change my behaviors to align more with the priorities. When I start thinking of restricting or over exercising, I’m supposed to look at my priorities list. Sometimes that helps me stop my eating disorder behavior, with the help of a positive coping skill & sometimes I still use an eating disorder behavior. But the point is, I’m learning to delay or stop myself from the negative behavior more than I was before. And it reminds me why I want to recover & helps boost my motivation.

Sorry for the long response but I admire your honesty & encourage you to keep moving forward. You CAN go farther in your recovery!

]]> Comment on The Process by Cara http://justbeingjess.org/the-process/#comment-558 Cara Mon, 14 May 2012 06:40:40 +0000 http://justbeingjess.org/?p=812#comment-558 I agree with you Jessica! I think that recovery is ALWAYS a process once you have an eating disorder. I don't mean that in a negative way, for example, "You'll always be thinking of calories and food for the rest of your life." That's too black and white. I totally agree that recovery does get LOADS better with consistent practice and effort, but one may always be tempted to fall back into their eating disorder during a rough time or struggle with negative thoughts every now and then, but it's okay. I think that once I reach a certain point, I will start to not think about calories or eating meals at certain times or control to the extent that I do now, and that will be amazing! I think you can get there too! I'm so happy that you are taking a step towards your own personal recovery :)! I agree with you Jessica! I think that recovery is ALWAYS a process once you have an eating disorder. I don’t mean that in a negative way, for example, “You’ll always be thinking of calories and food for the rest of your life.” That’s too black and white. I totally agree that recovery does get LOADS better with consistent practice and effort, but one may always be tempted to fall back into their eating disorder during a rough time or struggle with negative thoughts every now and then, but it’s okay.

I think that once I reach a certain point, I will start to not think about calories or eating meals at certain times or control to the extent that I do now, and that will be amazing! I think you can get there too! I’m so happy that you are taking a step towards your own personal recovery :) !

]]> Comment on The Process by Anna http://justbeingjess.org/the-process/#comment-557 Anna Mon, 14 May 2012 05:52:28 +0000 http://justbeingjess.org/?p=812#comment-557 I agree with the above responses, you need to believe that YES you can be fully recovered by allowing yourself to hold on to the "it never fully goes away" line you are given yourself permission to return to it when you want to.. because its not my fault, it never goes away! I promise you this isn't true, with enough work and dedication you can get rid of these thoughts and find other ways to express anger and hurt that doesn't involve food or punishing yourself. I agree with the above responses, you need to believe that YES you can be fully recovered by allowing yourself to hold on to the “it never fully goes away” line you are given yourself permission to return to it when you want to.. because its not my fault, it never goes away! I promise you this isn’t true, with enough work and dedication you can get rid of these thoughts and find other ways to express anger and hurt that doesn’t involve food or punishing yourself.

]]> Comment on The Process by katie http://justbeingjess.org/the-process/#comment-555 katie Sun, 13 May 2012 21:52:04 +0000 http://justbeingjess.org/?p=812#comment-555 interesting question....im gonna have to agree with rach and say that it is possble to be recovered and free but its something you have to work at everyday. only...(i think!) the thoughts get less and less until finally the urge to act on them is gone and really unappealing. i dont know any of this for sure....but i sure hope ill free. and really free! i feel ya on the motivation......i need "life" to be my motivated but most of the time i hate my life....oy.......... i love blueberry picking!!!!!!!!!!! but i like strawberries more (to eat :-)) interesting question….im gonna have to agree with rach and say that it is possble to be recovered and free but its something you have to work at everyday. only…(i think!) the thoughts get less and less until finally the urge to act on them is gone and really unappealing. i dont know any of this for sure….but i sure hope ill free. and really free! i feel ya on the motivation……i need “life” to be my motivated but most of the time i hate my life….oy……….
i love blueberry picking!!!!!!!!!!! but i like strawberries more (to eat :-))

]]> Comment on The Process by rachel http://justbeingjess.org/the-process/#comment-554 rachel Sun, 13 May 2012 21:45:16 +0000 http://justbeingjess.org/?p=812#comment-554 hey! ahh okay i have a lot to say. first off, i am going to disagree with you. i DO believe that it is possible for people to fully recover, because i know people who have. whether or not it is possible for ME is an entirely different matter, but i do think that people can actually COMPLETELY leave their eating disorder and all of the thought processes that went along with it behind. like i said, i'm not sure i'll ever be one of them, but i've seen it happen and i know people who have really, totally moved on. i can definitely relate to struggling to remain motivated. external motivators can help to a certain extent, (for example: i want to be able to go away to school this fall, i want to get my license over the summer etc.) but in order to really move foward, i've needed internal motivation as well. i've had to figure out what i really value in life and then i've had to look at how the eating disorder interferes with those things. for me just writing/listing it all out is helpful. and last but not least (sorry i am writing like a novel on here) i have been berry picking! (strawberries, actually!) it was fun, and fresh-picked strawberries taste SO MUCH BETTER than the kind you buy at the store. it's weird and i don't know why, but they really do. (: hey! ahh okay i have a lot to say.

first off, i am going to disagree with you. i DO believe that it is possible for people to fully recover, because i know people who have. whether or not it is possible for ME is an entirely different matter, but i do think that people can actually COMPLETELY leave their eating disorder and all of the thought processes that went along with it behind. like i said, i’m not sure i’ll ever be one of them, but i’ve seen it happen and i know people who have really, totally moved on.

i can definitely relate to struggling to remain motivated. external motivators can help to a certain extent, (for example: i want to be able to go away to school this fall, i want to get my license over the summer etc.) but in order to really move foward, i’ve needed internal motivation as well. i’ve had to figure out what i really value in life and then i’ve had to look at how the eating disorder interferes with those things. for me just writing/listing it all out is helpful.

and last but not least (sorry i am writing like a novel on here) i have been berry picking! (strawberries, actually!) it was fun, and fresh-picked strawberries taste SO MUCH BETTER than the kind you buy at the store. it’s weird and i don’t know why, but they really do. (:

]]> Comment on Fat Pockets by rachel http://justbeingjess.org/fat-pockets/#comment-536 rachel Tue, 08 May 2012 10:53:33 +0000 http://justbeingjess.org/?p=801#comment-536 YES! i've actually jokingly referred to myself as a "fiscal anorexic" , because i really treat money/buying things the same way i do food. it's always "should i? will it really be worth it?" and after buying something i usually spend hours beating myself up over it, just like i do after eating something i percieve as "unneccesscary". my therapist had me do an assignment (and i might actually post it on my blog now that i'm thinking of it) about all of the areas 0f my life (apart from food) in which i restricted myself, and it was really crazy to see how that restrictive mindset carried into so many other things. YES! i’ve actually jokingly referred to myself as a “fiscal anorexic” , because i really treat money/buying things the same way i do food. it’s always “should i? will it really be worth it?” and after buying something i usually spend hours beating myself up over it, just like i do after eating something i percieve as “unneccesscary”.

my therapist had me do an assignment (and i might actually post it on my blog now that i’m thinking of it) about all of the areas 0f my life (apart from food) in which i restricted myself, and it was really crazy to see how that restrictive mindset carried into so many other things.

]]> Comment on Fat Pockets by Erin http://justbeingjess.org/fat-pockets/#comment-534 Erin Tue, 08 May 2012 02:31:21 +0000 http://justbeingjess.org/?p=801#comment-534 I'm actually probably more lenient with my money than I should be. For the most part, I think I'm pretty good about it, but then I get into a not-so-good place and... retail therapy it is. I've never gotten anything that I haven't actually used or felt really guilty about it, but when I get strapped for cash (like I am right now, not horribly so, not in debt or anything), I sometimes wish I had spent my money more wisely. I guess I just can't pinpoint one instance that I can say, "Man, I shouldn't have bought THAT!" Well, come to think of it, in just the past semester, Running Warehouse and Amazon have seen a lot of me... And if I really think about it, honestly, buying things online IS like therapy in a way. It is a coping mechanism. I treat myself to something; I get to look in the mail and see something has been sent to me (yeah, even if I'm the one ordering it). Mer. Hopefully in the near future, I'll a) develop a better way to deal/not feel like I need to do this, and b) manage my money smartly and responsibly. I mean, I am moving AWAY AWAY and living off my OWN paycheck in a few months... I’m actually probably more lenient with my money than I should be. For the most part, I think I’m pretty good about it, but then I get into a not-so-good place and… retail therapy it is. I’ve never gotten anything that I haven’t actually used or felt really guilty about it, but when I get strapped for cash (like I am right now, not horribly so, not in debt or anything), I sometimes wish I had spent my money more wisely. I guess I just can’t pinpoint one instance that I can say, “Man, I shouldn’t have bought THAT!”

Well, come to think of it, in just the past semester, Running Warehouse and Amazon have seen a lot of me… And if I really think about it, honestly, buying things online IS like therapy in a way. It is a coping mechanism. I treat myself to something; I get to look in the mail and see something has been sent to me (yeah, even if I’m the one ordering it). Mer. Hopefully in the near future, I’ll a) develop a better way to deal/not feel like I need to do this, and b) manage my money smartly and responsibly. I mean, I am moving AWAY AWAY and living off my OWN paycheck in a few months…

]]> Comment on Fat Pockets by Gillian http://justbeingjess.org/fat-pockets/#comment-533 Gillian Tue, 08 May 2012 01:45:21 +0000 http://justbeingjess.org/?p=801#comment-533 I have huge problems with spending money. Much like my past ed - I'm either super restrictive with money or super oblivious about the money I'm spending..well I know I'm spending it..I know it will catch up with me. I have HUGE amounts of guilt about spending money no matter when I'm being restrictive..or being so called "oblivious." Right now I'm in the oblivious stage. This means I am refusing to look in my checking account, I'm buying things at CVS (this is a HUGE no-no to me..like gatorade, lunas...this makes me crazy because of their upcharge), I am writing big checks to my tx team in advance w/o looking to see how much money I even have... the thing is..I have enough money. I have a job...I know things are ok. But I'm SO ocd about money and it's like I'm denying myself the ocd pleasure - the BALANCE is ZERO...I just swing the other way completely... instead of following my ridic excel sheet budget plus balancing my checkbook... I have no idea when bills are due, no idea how much money I have and just spending money w/ no regard - albeit..not incredulous amounts of money. Sorry to rant..but I legit was going to sit down and look at my finances tonight because I was feeling SO out of control and I could relate to this SO much!! :) I have huge problems with spending money. Much like my past ed – I’m either super restrictive with money or super oblivious about the money I’m spending..well I know I’m spending it..I know it will catch up with me. I have HUGE amounts of guilt about spending money no matter when I’m being restrictive..or being so called “oblivious.” Right now I’m in the oblivious stage. This means I am refusing to look in my checking account, I’m buying things at CVS (this is a HUGE no-no to me..like gatorade, lunas…this makes me crazy because of their upcharge), I am writing big checks to my tx team in advance w/o looking to see how much money I even have… the thing is..I have enough money. I have a job…I know things are ok. But I’m SO ocd about money and it’s like I’m denying myself the ocd pleasure – the BALANCE is ZERO…I just swing the other way completely… instead of following my ridic excel sheet budget plus balancing my checkbook… I have no idea when bills are due, no idea how much money I have and just spending money w/ no regard – albeit..not incredulous amounts of money. Sorry to rant..but I legit was going to sit down and look at my finances tonight because I was feeling SO out of control and I could relate to this SO much!! :)

]]> Comment on I Can See Into Your Future by admin http://justbeingjess.org/i-can-see-into-your-future/#comment-531 admin Tue, 08 May 2012 00:18:53 +0000 http://justbeingjess.org/?p=780#comment-531 @<a href="#comment-525" rel="nofollow">Alli</a>: I totally can see where you are coming from with worrying that I might become too dependent on what the medium will have to say, but I have thought about this and will only let it affect me in a positive way - I will make sure that I am doing this for the right reasons and not to have it negatively influence me. Thank you for your concern, though! I do appreciate it. <3 @Alli: I totally can see where you are coming from with worrying that I might become too dependent on what the medium will have to say, but I have thought about this and will only let it affect me in a positive way – I will make sure that I am doing this for the right reasons and not to have it negatively influence me. Thank you for your concern, though! I do appreciate it. <3

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